Expressed as a contemptible person of unhappy circumstances,
I choose to define differently, trying to foray into a new stance!
Trying my best here not to sound morbid,
Don't search for anyone in here, this is neither a euphemistic rhyme, neither candid:)

A loser isn't some one who's lost one progenitor,
He's someone who forgets he's still loved by the other!
A loser isn't someone who's lost dignity in love,
He's someone who feels nothing, seeing someone who's devoid of!

A loser isn't someone who's badly stuck with a rebound,
He's someone who doesn't learn to enjoy what comes around:)
A loser isn't someone who's lost all his blinding shining,
he's just someone who's blind to a silver lining:)

A loser isn't a guy who is known only for his past glories,
he's someone who can neither relish this, nor can he use them to create future stories,
A loser isn't someone who keeps wallowing in self-pity,
he's just so into it, he misses anything that comes by serendipity:)

He's someone who fails to find his deep seated obsession,
He's someone who wants it easy, tempting into every distraction,
he just won't let the sorrows of the past burn,
he defines himself by them, saving them in an urn.

He's some one who's capable of using 80% of his brain,
but spends a good 100% just trying to remain sane,
he loves to hate others, loves to loathe himself deep,
He's blind to all that is pleasant, voluntarily closes eyes, wouldn't just peek!

He doesn't realise he has a loving single parent,dedicated to the very life of him,
He has a re-found love, to enjoy, even if it isn't meant for him,
He feels lonely even after more than 300 birthday wishes said,
He claims to be a loner despite having perennial visitors by his hospital bed!!

He is this and so much more!!
He complains about being wet even after reaching the shore,
despite his vast repertoire he's insecure and falls shy,
Oh I thank the dear lord NOT LETTING ME BE THAT GUY!!!!

I AM!!

So here i go for the umpteenth time,
hoping to strike the perfect rhyme,
not really sure what theme to grind,
too many strings wired in mind!

Making progress on the professional front,
now making logical decisions, no freaky stunts,
but yet it seems all normal and plain,
no sense of achievement, no sense of gain!

Still falling back on the occurances of the past,
it's like I'm under influence of a spell that's been cast,
I did rhyme before that i broke free,
I guess i was lying, to you and to me!!

Happy thoughts!! Count blessings!! Happy thoughts!!
Yes, done, counted so many that now they've begun to rot!
Yes I was on the verge of becoming cynical,
Those two pushed me off the ledge, no more miracles!

But here I stand, i stand alone because i dare to,
I don't aim to earn too much fame or abundant fortune,
of the many goals and things i chose to aspire,
Is to make him repent, fry his brain, make him perspire!

Vengeful? Spiteful? Well i may be,
I didn't exactly choose this, don't you see?!
I don't blame fate either, that is for cowards!
I chose my path, no relativity, I AM moving forwards!!

I can't go back in time...so I'll just call this 'WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!'

I know you've gone,never to return,
yet i stare at the path you left me, to tread,
hoping to see you walk the same trail,
Backwards this time instead.

I know you won't change your mind,
and that it isn't in my power to change yours either,
yet i can't stop myself from hoping,
because my only other option is to wither.

I did my best to comfort you,
It was no selfless deed on my part,
I wanted to be near you,
And now i witness us drifting apart.

You share not the feelings that i have for you,
Not in the same way at least to see,
which leaves my in such a predicament,
I want you to have what you want,but your want is not me.

It's been a long time,I should have forgotten you,
yet I'm still playing this losing game,
i still hope that the voice was yours,
each time i hear the sound of my name.

I know not how deep the ground lies underneath,
I do know i'm clinging to a loose ended rope,
but I cannot let go of it to hold something else,
I can't help but wait, I can't help but hope.

GROPING IN THE DARK.....one of my first works...

Darkness persistently surrounds me,
And I am groping around for light,
when will I comprehend
that for me, for now, it's all night?!

I know there might be a day,
when everything will shine and become bright,
Someone will come holding a beacon,
and bring some much needed light...

But I'm not craving for that day,
I'm not praying, waiting or hoping,
because I want to start seeing in the dark,
I've gotten used to groping........

Your misplaced sense of self righteousness!

**DISCLAIMER** I borrowed a line from my fav movie...so the pic is a tribute to whom I believe portrayed the character better than anyone else could, EVER!!


So all those memories we shared are just a lie?
I'm still in disbelief that i didn't see it,
So all that time I was myself with you,
You didn't like it one bit?

You found all my care a burden?
You found all my feelings a pain?
All those words i said to you when i did,
were all washed away in the with the quickest of rain??

It wasn't easy for me to open up,
I did because you me feel you wanted me to,
God damn it, you made feel you wanted to know,
And you found that suffocating too?!

I know I can care too much,
enough to smother you out of breath,
but weren't my confessions an explanation enough?
You knew i was literally living death.

People pretend to be what others want to love,
I'm sorry I ignored this long-standing dictum,
All those things you said you loved about me,
Deep within you hated every one of them?

Oh,you were protecting my feelings?!
You were just being nice and polite?
You really thought when the curtains come down
on your pretense, it's gonna be swell and alright?!

You should have told me what was going on,
Rude or painful as that might have been to me,
For, your misplaced sense of self righteousness,
Has made the words 'hope' and 'trust' meaningless to me.

No mask for me, thank you!!

Why is it so wrong to be just me?
Why should you look at me so differently?
Just because i disagree to agree
I am to be out-casted so openly?

Yes I don't conform to your standards,
for reasons that should be obvious,
those standards are YOURS,not mine,
Living by my own is so blasphemous?

I don't want to change myself,
just so that you are pleased by my transition,
I want to live my life the way i want to,
I loathe any form of pretension.

Yes, may be that's why i'm stuck in this rut,
May be that's why I lost love twice,
But I'd rather spend my life with my eyes wide open,
than sleep on a bed so full of lies.

I won't wear a mask to cover my face,
however difficult for you it may be
to see the face the way god gave it,
the mask may be soothing,but that's just not me!

I will stand by my principles,
how much ever it may hurt,whatever i lose,
that's the point of having them in the first place,
You can't let adversities change your every muse.

I don't know what else is in store for me,
If i continue to tread this path i chose,
At least when I'm done i'll be satisfied,
I walked MY OWN,be it of thorns,be it of rose.

BLOOD IN THE WATER.....

Time and again I've tried hard to restart,
I make a plan, but it never gets off the chart,
But now is the final cut,it's do or it's slaughter,
Can't afford to fail now, there is blood in the water.

Things are spiraling completely out of control,
Nothing is stable, 'certainty' itself is unsure,
The mind draws images that I never dreamed of visualising,
Well after days of hallucinations, nothing can be surprising!

I was going to take some time off, on a sabbatical,
No amount of time seems to be ample,
While I was here, in my cocoon, taking a long break,
Life didn't just moved on, it began to overtake.

Everything has been torn apart, all lies in disarray,
Shattered dreams, no more smiles, no more 'above the fray'
Every move, every motive will now be under scrutiny,
I didn't see this coming,every second now is mutiny.

But I guess I needed to see through this bullet hole,
Pressure alone can bring out diamond from coal,
Now i grow up, i face the music and fight harder,
VULNERABILITY at it's peak, because now there is blood in the water!